Torn

Why can't growing in our relationships with God be a painless process?

Now, before the wishy-washy Christian thoughts enter your mind, understand that I know that our relationship with God is not a to be stagnant and cozy endeavor...I just like rhetorical questions.

So, remember that Bible study I was all excited about in my last post? Well, I still am very excited--but as I continue to work through each day's "homework," I find that God is really pushing me out of my current state of comfort and I'm having to face some not so warm and fuzzy thoughts and feelings. Not quite something I expected from the Psalms of ASCENT.

The more that I dwell on it, I realize that before one can rise, the foundation has to be firm. In this instance, it means that I must rid myself of misconceptions, some past pains, and face some of the truths of God that I have felt didn't apply to me, or that I wasn't good enough to have be true for me.

While this Bible study is very uplifting and inspiring, some of the individual questions really throw me back into a state of contemplation and remembrance, not always a place I like to be...there's lots of things I like to just push out of my mind.

As I move forward today in this mode of "ouch vs. elation," I am thankful for the time that I am intentionally putting aside to commune with God and tackle some of these issues that I thought if I could push away long enough, they would just disappear. As much as the analogy makes me cringe, He's the potter and I'm the clay right now. (Don't know why that one bugs me...it just does)

Now back to my regularly-scheduled furlough laziness for the next hour until we leave to get new lenses for our glasses and a myriad of other appointments this afternoon, followed by FINALLY finishing the paint job on our bedroom that I started back in January...adios lime green, hello soothing "universal umber." (A dark beige-y brown color)