In the Unexpected

Have you ever had one of those days where people get under your skin?

I get very frustrated when people blatantly lie to my face when I ask them a question about previous assistances they have received. "I don't remember..." or "But I thought it was..." or my favorite "But when I called I was told..." (no you weren't--in case you didn't notice when you came upstairs, my office is a loft above our lobby--I hear every word, even when you think I don't)

Dude. Seriously.

My birthday's coming up, but it wasn't yesterday. If an assistance appears with my name next to it in our social services software, I pull your file to verify, and show you your signature verifying receipt of said service, there's really not any question that it happened. Don't pull that junk with me, because honestly, it's not going to fly--there was a time when I was naive and would cry when I had to tell someone no--and there was a phase when I was far too cynical for my own good--and now I think I've settled into a good level of discernment and compassion, but that doesn't mean my compassion will override your scam. And to my credit, I did make a few phone calls to see if exceptions could be made today--so I'm not totally heartless.

Being in the people business, these days happen where the frustrations just don't roll off your back. It's discouraging. I want to have faith in people, that they are truly seeking a hand up and not a hand out. I want to believe that what I do is truly improving someone's situation and not just helping them fall into a pattern of dependence on people, agencies, assistances, etc. I really don't want to be someone's enabler. But, I also realize that in the end--whether I've made the right or wrong choice, God's going to reward or judge me or the other party accordingly.

Now, all that said, I did have a surprise from someone who crossed my path today that made me realize my harshness. This person seems to have one crisis after another, some legitimate, some not, and they always find their way to sitting across my desk from me. I don't know what it was--had to be a God thing, because it sure wasn't me--but I ended up helping this person in a way that normally I wouldn't, and it really opened up the door to conversation. We had a really nice conversation about my role as an officer, female pastor, and the societal stigmas that come with that (living in a small conservative town with 70 churches and only one other female pastor, I am generally viewed as the frail pastor's wife instead of an equal partner in corps leadership). It was really refreshing--totally threw me back, and unfortunately but me behind in my scheduled appointments, but it was time well spent. In our conversation, I was able to encourage this person in their newest endeavor and even provide some information that they weren't aware of to make their new journey a bit easier. Definitely a God thing.

I'm so glad to know that I serve a God who loves me enough to teach me in spite of myself. May I never forget the fact that I don't know it all, and while God works in my life--he also works in the lives of others, changing them for the better too. No one is above the need for God's redemption. Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God's love for us rises above our iniquities--AMEN!