Faced a fear....or did I?

So I've been working on a new endeavor the last few weeks that has really shifted my direction in life and point of view...it's a huge learning experience and is requiring me to put aside a LOT of pride and usual/comfortable feelings. Completely uncharted territory and it scares the crud out of me, but I know that God blazing this trail before me, because I wouldn't have been dumped on this way without His leading and revelation.

I came to a point this week where I really had to humble myself and make some choices. The choices require me to not only step out of my comfort zone...but completely shatter it. The first time was a half-hearted attempt, I did what I needed to do, but in a safe situation....and tonight I made the decision to make this attempt again, but do it the right way, for real where I needed to be--and not in control of the circumstances. I showed up where I needed to be at the time I needed to be there. AND THOSE THAT WERE TO BE THERE WERE NOT THERE!

I was soooooooo angry. Now, easily I could have felt a sense of relief that I didn't have to deal with what I set out to deal with....but no, I got ticked. I still think I'm a little bit angry and frustrated. Slowly simmering down though as I have tools to use as an outlet in this particular situation.

So, I attempted to face this fear head on, but it didn't follow-through to the benefit of its original purpose. Sooo....did I really triumph, or am I back at the starting gate?

Yeah...it's late, I'm tired. I'm sure this makes no sense.