Silence

Not much to report today--typical Monday. Planning on "fasting" from the internet tomorrow (other than corps related usage). See ya in a few days.

What's My Place?

I don't like change.

Quite some time ago, I was convicted deeply that I need to spend more time in keeping up my home--you know, laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. My husband and I have been pretty good at splitting those duties 50/50 so far. I'm not one that subscribes completely to the little wife at home mantra, but I do feel that I do have a prominent role in house making and that my husband is the the head of the household.

I had a bit of a domesticated mood today...when we got home from church, I sat down and planned out our meals for the week, made a grocery list, cleaned out the fridge (a few science experiments), went grocery shopping, cooked lunches for us to take to the corps for the week, and did the dishes.

It's been awhile...no one told me household duties were so exhausting. Give me paperwork and sermon prep any day.

But, the bottom line is that if this is what God intends for me, then He's going to pave the path to get me where He wants me to be as long as I'm paying attention.

It's going to be a wild ride...

Proverbs 12:4 says, "A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

Yikes...that's a lot to live up to.

Pet Peeves

We all have them--admit it. None of us are holy to the point where we are above those things that nag us to the core and make us want to last out and strangle the closest living being to us.

I have many pet peeves. I'm a creature of habit and routine, so there's a whollleeee bunch of things that just grate on me like no other.

This is not an exhaustive list, but just a "few":
-Crunching food. Yes, crunchy food exists in this world, but before you chomp down, SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I don't want to hear it.

-People who don't respect time. If something starts at 10, it does not mean 10:05. I do my best to be on time, if not five minutes early--so I deserve the same respect in return. This also goes for people not even showing up without notice.

-Morning. I hate morning. If I did not have to start to be human until 10am (that doesn't mean out the door), I would be a happy camper

-Poor customer service. I've been a waitress, fast food slinger, worked in clothing stores, managed a thrift store, and other jobs along the way. Don't even try to make excuses, just do your job to the best of your ability please. And if you are overwhelmed, please explain that to people--they will be far more understanding than just getting cruddy service. We will be happier customers (and likely better tippers) if we know why we aren't receiving good service.

-Phones. As a child of the '80s and working on every computer since the dawn of the home personal computer with disks that looked like old school sega games and remember the first bumblings of the internet--who else remembers prodigy? I hate talking on the phone. If communication could be handled in person, face-to-face, by email, or other internet means without the use of the telephone, I would be one happy woman. This pet peeve borders on the edge of fears...that's how much I hate the phone.

-Jaywalkers. Living in a small community does not mean that every street is safe to meander across anything you please at your leisure. One day you're going to be a hood ornament.

-Unsupervised kids. Much of my time in the afternoons is spent driving around town on errands. So many children are playing in driveways, on sidewalks, and in the street without a supervisory eye in sight. I'm all for teaching kids how to be safe when they play outside, but young kids who probably couldn't even tell you their phone number should not be riding their bikes up and down the street without an adult within earshot...just saying.

-Lack of preparedness. I'm guilty of this one too sometimes. As my husband says often, "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." Granted, there's exceptions to every rule. But I'll just leave that one at that.

Anyway, we all have our pet peeves. Some are very vocal about them, and others shove them down deep and are just a pressure cooker waiting to burst. Some of mine, people are very aware of--others aren't, mostly because I don't know how to start a conversation with the guilty party that wouldn't incite WWIII or hurt someone's feelings.

Don't know where this post came from tonight...very random I know. Must have been too much sun today. I am extremely grateful to my husband tonight for encouraging (kicking my rear) to the end of the benefit walk we participated in today. I know he didn't really want to do it initially, but we had some pretty good conversation along with way. My fat rear is so out of shape, even for the walking I've been doing--my goal for today was to just not come in last, and we didn't! Actually, we finished faster than we estimated it would take. Praying that the heart to hearts that we had today sunk in. I need my hubby's support right now for some stuff--and sometimes that support is going to have to come in the form of figuratively knocking me upside the head once in awhile.

Sooo....as I'm falling asleep sitting up, probably time to go relax in bed and get ready for another great Sunday--we love our corps!

Update: Irate phone call my husband took the other day. Spouse of the irate person called hubby yesterday and apologized for the other spouse's behavior. Explained a little bit why the reaction came out so harshly. Doesn't quite justify such a lash out, but does make it a bit more understandable. Hubby told the spouse that they are welcome back anytime. (Irate phone caller had left in a huff before even being seen). Hubby called the volunteer to convey the information, and she was so happy to hear about it--she felt so guilty like it was her fault that the situation occurred, even though we tried our best to comfort and reassure her that it wasn't. She told hubby hearing that made her day. So, another happy ending :-)

Food for thought today:

"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you." (Job 22:21)

What's your view of the usage of "prosperity" in this verse? (Hint: open up the Bible and read it in context) I'm curious to hear some other views on this one...

Never a Dull Moment

Today was just "one of those days" where all you can do is laugh, because if you truly took it seriously, you'd not be a happy camper.

I think my number one statement today was, "Really? I mean, really?"

Had a new community service worker come in to start working off their hours--stunk to high heaven, I could smell him in the next room. Worked for an hour, only built 5 food boxes and then came and asked me how to take out the trash. I wasn't aware there was an art to taking out the trash...this was news to me.(This was after my husband explained that there was a trash can in every room, where the trash bags were, and showed the individual where the dumpster was)

Unreasonable client goes over the edge over silliness. I go get my husband to relieve the situation, and client starts causing ruckus and verbally abusing our volunteers, husband and me. Cops are called to invite the client to leave. Cops just laugh. (With us--not at us, but at the ridiculousness of the conversation that caused this client to fly off.)

In the midst of the cop scenario, husband gets a phone call from another client complaining that a volunteer yelled at her child. Husband asks me about situation as I was working downstairs in the social services office today and heard all that went on. In normal, calm voice our volunteer told a TWELVE year-old that he needed to stay in the lobby until mom was called, as the child was wandering around and started to go upstairs (to the loft that is our office). Client screams at my husband (who is diplomatically handling this irate caller) over the phone that we should not be defending our volunteers by lying and said she would be calling the better business bureau. Without skipping a beat, husband says, "I'm sorry you feel that way, let me spell my name for you so when you report us that it is correctly recorded." I didn't hear the end of it...I think the client hung up the phone.

Was it a full moon or what?!

By the end of the day we just looked at each other and laughed...because, honestly, what could we do? We can't control people's reactions.

These things happen everyday in every service organization across the world, it's a highly emotional time for people for a myriad of reasons, and sometimes it's the littlest thing instead of the real issue that sets someone off.

We make it a point to stay cool as long as we are able in these situations. For the majority of the time, people say their piece to lift some of that stress in their life, get the assistance they need, and move on with life. We try to be an example of grace and love to these people, and much of the time, our calmness will catch on and they will carry on a pleasant conversation, and sometimes even apologize for their over-reactions. Even find that they are open to talk and pray together--or even just cry together (well, I'm good at that--hubby's not much of a crier)

Then there's those times when we're just never going to win. A person may not be ready to think clearly or look at the big picture, and we can't force them to that point--it has to come to them naturally. We are ready, willing, and able to help them when they step back and take a deep breath--but we have trained our volunteers and employees that it is not their job to be abused, and to let us be the bad guys when a rough situation comes along (which is a stress reliever to them). It's also a life lesson that you aren't going to get what you want by screaming and making a scene, just in case they didn't learn that as a small child. Regardless, they are always treated as respectfully as possible, as everyone who steps over our threshold will be exposed to God's love--whether they choose to accept it or not.

There will always be days like this, and we handle it the best we can with our knowledge and the grace that God gives us...but sometimes we just sit back and have to commiserate on how funny life can be sometimes.

Stressors...the unexpected...those that get angry at us...vicious people...

It's all part of the territory. Then you have those ones, like the last client I met with today in tears over the stress relief that came from the assistance we provided their family. Those are the experiences with people that makes all the other silly stuff just fall to the wayside.

Just as Jesus left the 99 sheep to find the lost one, it's the one that "gets" it that stands as a reminder of Christ's presence is paramount in all that we do and every word we speak--the realization that in the grace they have received that we have accomplished our mission through them, and all involved are blessed. I pray today that I never get caught up in the 99 that I forget about the one that is still out there, that is in need to that extra bit of love to bring them back to the flock.

Overwhelmed

Have you ever had those times where you kept being convicted of things you need to start and/or do when you feel like your plate is already full?

I have had some ideas the last few months to start some new things in the community and online...and while at the initial thought, it may have seemed fleeting, some of these ideas have really been nagging at me as a need.

Today I am on shift as the on-call chaplain at the hospital. After our monthly chaplain meeting today, I stopped into the hospital chapel for a bit before visiting patients--I am convinced this is the quietest place in this town, and there's something oddly comforting about hard wooden pews. I was again reminded of an idea that I had several months ago, and kind of blew off like, "Really God? You want me to try to do what?" So, tonight I sit here confident in the need for a midweek prayer service at the hospital in addition to the Sunday worship that another one of the chaplain's leads. Not only am I confident of that fact, I know how it is to be structured, when it should be, the hospital audience that it should be drawing....and that I am the one to spearhead the effort. Oy...another activity? Lord--now would be the time for a 25-hour day.

Now, don't mistake me as complaining about any of this as much of it is self-inflicted. We seem to be filling our plates with a lot of volunteer opportunities lately to get our foot in the doors of some opportunities...participating in a benefit walk, going to help out some other officers on Friday, joining advisory boards of other organizations, going to camp for a week to teach a badge, and several other activities. I get nervous looking at the big picture, but I have to remember the outcome of each individual situation is worth the stress ten-fold.

I started a written/paper journal the other day to record some of these crazy insane "to-do" lists along with the laments and emotions that go along with it as it's not appropriate to post here, and in many ways is proving to be rather comforting to put it down on paper and see that it's not as crazy as I see things sometimes. It's all about organization. Boy, I need to get organized!

But for now...rest. Didn't sleep well last night because I slept away a migraine for 80% or so of yesterday. Need to get back in the swing of my normal routine...I've been so thrown off since the women's ministry retreat, I am missing my schedules!!!

I was reminded of these words in Matthew's gospel this evening looking at our couples devotional calendar, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:25-34)

So, do as I say and not as I do--quit worrying!

Hoarders

Okay, so this is like the scariest show on television...even scarier than Bridezillas that used to give me serious panic attacks when we were planning our simple wedding. No joke, I would be in tears after 5 minutes--that's the most I could handle.

I watch this show and think of the half of our garage full of boxes and the boxes of books that fill a couple of closets and think, is this what we are turning into?

Now, I know that we aren't hoarders...it's more the fear of unpacking. On June 16 we will celebrate two years since our commissioning. I am in my third appointment and my husband is in his second. We have come to the point now where we feel okay in unpacking and truly feeling settled knowing that we're not going anywhere in the immediate future. There's a lot that we need to sort through and get organized--because we haven't has the chance to do so in our marriage yet. We have several doubles of things like books, videos, tools, etc that we really don't need...so in the end we'll end up with less to move in the future (which is not really a bad thing since we don't come close to the moving square footage/weight for a single officer and all we've added that would make any difference would be our deep freeze)

I am definitely a packrat--it's inherited, and I'm also very sentimental (For example, I have every card my husband has ever given me for any occasion), so it's hard to get rid of things--but I think I've gotten better over the years. My biggest thing is getting rid of clothes...I have clothes and uniforms ranging in a large variety of sizes because of losing and gaining weight. There's no happy medium in that, and I'm too cheap to buy new clothes to compensate for gains/losses. I don't like to let go of things (and ohhhhh that goes so much further than just stuff).

I try to remember that it is just "stuff"--like my husband says, you never see a U-Haul following a hearse. Those are not the important things in life. The important things in life are a good relationship with Christ, family, and serving others. To love one another (hmmm...where have we heard this before? Perhaps Matthew 22:36-40...just saying)

So...despite the fact that there's another TV show out there that strikes fear in my heart, I am reminded that there is more to me than the things that surround me--that the most excellent thing is the love that is in my life. For God, for others, and for(learning how to love) me.

A little random tonight, I know. This whole 3-day weekend thing has thrown me off--especially being at the thrift store for the most of the day as we held a big sale while our employees had the holiday off (Gotta take advantage of good store sales and no payroll overhead!)

My Fairy Tale

Now, those that know me can testify that when it comes to stereotypes of the typical woman, I'm rather Jekyll/Hyde on the matter. I am very much a women-can-do-the-same-thing-as-men-and-we-do-it-in-heels uber feminist that likes to camp, get dirty, and the like--but I am also the epitome of the girly-girl who likes sappy chick flicks, getting dressed up, favorite color is pink (like you couldn't tell), and cry at the drop of a hat.

I love the fairy tale ending--the guy gets the girl and they live happily every after. I always dreamed that my life would be have that fairy tale, and the cool part--it does!

My dating life was, shall we say, interesting. Several long distance relationships, sleazebags, a few "Christian" guys, and there's the ones that I find out years later are gay (yeah, we're not going there...). There was a point in my life when I had heard (but not listened) to God's call to officership that I knew I would not be a single officer. It's one of those things that I just "knew"--can't really put it in words, it was just the way it was. I interpreted that to mean that I would be married before training college. So, I set out to meet a Christian guy that was called to officership. Such a disaster...pretty funny stories for another day.

I wanted so badly to follow in God's will through my calling, and just didn't understand that if God called me to a specific purpose, then He would fulfill the needs that had to be in order to make it happen. I was engaged to another man, someone that I had brought to the Army and he enrolled as a soldier--and was called to ministry, just not officership. So, we started down the path and it disintegrated before it started. It was not a good match, but we were determined it would work because this had to be part of God's plan. (I never deny that I've had my delusional moments in life) As we went on, it just got bad--and things ended badly.

I was crushed. At that point I was so frustrated in trying to get the details in place, that I had lost focus of God's will. When that clicked, I had to give in--it was time to pursue the end result and let the chips fall. So, I rushed to the end of the application process and was accepted to the college for officer training a year before I had expected to attend. Little did I know, that was part of the plan.

Once at CFOT, I resigned myself to the fact that I was single, and would likely be that way for awhile. I tried to become okay with that, and it never 100% settled in me, but it did to the point where I could accept it...I read books like "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and other books on Christian courtship, etc. I had convinced myself that while at CFOT there was no chance that I would meet someone.

Well, I started to lighten up--and actually was trying to be flirty and show my interest in another individual when my hubby came on the scene. My husband and I were sessionmates, hung out with the same people, and were pretty good friends. People think we joke when we say it was a disaster that brought us together.

Our second year in training college, the cadets were deployed on disaster services during fires in SoCal and we were on the same team that went to San Bernadino. I was having issues with another person on our team, so I made my hubby swear that he wouldn't ever let me be alone with this individual while we were gone. We rode in the same vehicle, spent a lot of time working together, etc while we were gone.

When we returned to the training college, he called me and asked me if I wanted to go to the movies and dinner...well in the way that he asked me, it sounded to me like our other friends would be coming along too. Then in the end when I met him at the van, it was just him. Okay, sure...dense me was thinking nothing at this point. We had dinner at a diner and joked around and saw a movie, something I would not have chosen--i kept jumping at the gunshots and such, and he would lean over and ask me if I was okay. Afterwards, we were driving around and ended up at the pier in Long Beach walking around for hours talking because we didn't want to go back to CFOT (CFOT was not a positive experience for either of us--another story for another day). Randomly in conversation, he would make comments like, "you smell really good." or "I like your perfume." Being dense, I didn't think anything of it. Even at the point where we were standing inches apart talking and a slight breeze would've made our lips touch, it still didn't occur to me what was happening.

The next day we had decided to spend the majority of the day in the library to finish our mandatory study time (again, long story). It was only us in the library that day, and we didn't do a lick of homework. We messed around on the internet and joking around and just being loud--good thing the librarians liked us. Somehow in conversation we decided that we were hungry and decided to drive around Redondo beach looking for a good restaurant. We ended up at this little Thai place and then walked around Redondo Pier and Harbor. At one point we stopped at the end of the marina where people's personal boats were and we just stared out straight ahead at the boats, leaning on the railing. And the conversation went like this:

*Awkward Pause*
Hubby: So...are we dating?
*Awkward Pause*
Me: Um...I don't know. What do you think?
*Awkward Pause*
Hubby: Well, I think we should.
*Awkward Pause*
Me: Okay then, it's settled.
*THE LONGEST 30 SECONDS EVER!*
Hubby: *Puts arm around me and comes close, turns my face towards him, and gives me the kiss to beat all other kisses, and leans his forehead against mine, whispering:* I Love You.

Completely blindsided, I can revisit this conversation and kiss in my mind with perfect clarity and the soundtrack to accompany it. Talk about the fairy-tale ending, who whudda thunk it? Out of anything in life that I could have anticipated, this was not it--and that's why God's working in life is so amazing!

I had submitted myself to His will, not sure how the details would fall into place, and God showed me that the details didn't matter--He would work it out.

And 15 months from that conversation, we were married in the chapel at the training college with many of our sessionmates, family, and friends present. We celebrated our first anniversary in January 2010--and decided that if we could survive this last year, we can survive anything together (we faced more than many face in a lifetime last year). We can't imagine our lives any different than they are now--talk about a tailor-made match from God, we are the perfect pair. I love my husband more and more everyday. As it says in Song of Solomon (gasp!) 2:16a, "My lover is mine and I am his." No greater words ever written.

Now that is a fairy tale for the ages!



(Inspired by seeing the new movie, "Letters to Juliet," last night. Awesome movie)